First impressions
My first impression of Bridewell was nerve-wracking. I'd been in hospital with people I knew all around me and it was so open. It was Covid, everyone was on edge and I just followed like a sheep - I didn't have a mind of my own. I looked around with my support worker but I didn't notice much as I had tunnel vision.
I don't know what I was expecting. I was on drugs and it took a long time to remember names and match them up to people. It was a worry - you should know a person's name. I had to think of a word to help me remember. It's a lot better now.
You have to feel your way, to get to know what people are like. Before, I had experience of people being violent so I thought, are they violent? Because I'm small I understand that people can hurt you....I think small people have to fight more.
At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to be here. I was getting lifts and thought - someone has made the effort pick me up so I go. If I'd been driving myself I might have given up.
“You have to feel your way, to get to know what people are like.”
What changed?
I started to find interest. I used to garden but hadn't done any for 20 years. Once I started doing it with other people I got interested. After a year I wanted to do my allotments again. Bridewell gave me a kick start. I used the idea from Bridewell of beds you can walk around. I never used to grow flowers but now I do to look pretty. I grow dwarf things like sunflowers.
I was left a rabbit by my ex and the Bridewell team reckon it has helped me - looking after it etc. I used to have an obsession with cleaning but no longer.
Once I was able to drive again it was a big change - it stopped me sitting at home and I was able to come 2 days a week. I didn't learn about gardening - I was teaching them! Not officially - just showing them.
I did some cooking sessions - we could choose what to cook. I made stuff in the forge with the blacksmith volunteer, who is friendly - doesn't tell you what to do but shows you. I've made lots of metal things - key fob, Xmas tree, flower pot stand, hooks, brackets and repairing metal things at Bridewell.
"I didn't learn about gardening - I was teaching them!"
What's next?
I'm going to decide my leaving date together with the team. I'm gradually reducing my time. I don't want to go. You put your roots down here. The staff and volunteers are so friendly - they are your friends. You hope they remember you. I'll put the word out about Bridewell. Gardening changed me. I'm mostly fine with the other gardeners - we're helping each other along. I'm keeping up with people who've left.
I'm volunteering for Cotswold Friends - I'm a volunteer driver and a befriender. I also go to Men in Sheds - the bloke who runs it is top class. It's tea and cake and company.
